Serena Williams, undoubtedly someone who would be considered a STRONG WOMAN - an achiever of the highest degree, independent and a role model opened up about life and motherhood recently in the latest issue of Vogue: “Sometimes I get really down and feel like, Man, I can’t do this,” she says. “It’s that same negative attitude I have on the court sometimes. I guess that’s just who I am. No one talks about the low moments—the pressure you feel, the incredible letdown every time you hear the baby cry. I’ve broken down I don’t know how many times. Or I’ll get angry about the crying, then sad about being angry, and then guilty, like, Why do I feel so sad when I have a beautiful baby? The emotions are insane.” Serena, thank you for your honesty and truth! It's people like you that make us feel we are good enough, normal and that we shouldn't feel guilt about feeling what we feel.
We all feel it differently. That's ok, I realise now. There were times in the early days after having my daughter, where I believed there might be something 'wrong' with me. Something deficient in me, for not feeling unbridled love and joy every moment that my baby was in my arms. For not experiencing a sudden inspired spark of light that I was now who I was always supposed to be - a realisation of my best self. Maybe motherhood wasn't my calling? Maybe I didn't have the capacity, the maternal instincts that so many of my friends seemed to step upon so naturally, on giving birth to their bundle of joy?? These were real thoughts that ran through my head but I seldom voiced.
I recall on discussing new motherhood with a friend of a friend (we have similar aged daughters) her describing feeling that utter empowerment and goddess like feeling in those first weeks - "I had given birth, I could do anything, you know what I mean?" Hmmm, nope! Quite the opposite - I felt the most numb, outer body experience I had encountered during those first weeks (perhaps the 4 day of latent labour and zero sleep a contributing factor!). I felt physically cumbersome still, with any lack of control of my body and engorged breasts and was in shock at how virtually impossible it was to do the simplest tasks of self care, such as clean my teeth at night without my baby remaining settled in my arms.
Women like Serena, high profile, who seem to have it all together do something amazing when they share these honest experiences. Sometimes they speak of joy and that incredible unparalleled feeling of parental love - and sometimes an entirely different experience. We need to know though, we need to know it all! There's so much I feel I was never told, so I always try to be honest and share a balanced view of the amazing (of which there is much to speak of) and the WTF's as I like to call them.... Whatever we feel, it's all good, valid, ok, normal and does not make one a failure or unfit mother!
At Mamabox, our gifts are centred around a principal of self-care for mothers (and dads-to-be!) who are going through transformation, some of this may be wonderful and some of these changes may be more challenging. It really is different for everyone. We aim to gift a little stylish luxury and inspire some self-care through our discovery box of beautiful, considered gifts. Every detail, every item has been thought about over and over again as we wanted our gifts to be a thing of joy without compromising on quality - that would ease the journey of new parenthood, even just a little. Mama's supporting Mama's. Love to you all mama's, you ARE amazing! xxx